


Day at the Beach

by Gizmo



Series: The Fools Who Dream [3]
Category: The Magicians (TV), The Magicians - Lev Grossman
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, cuddles and boner too, lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 16:48:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12172875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gizmo/pseuds/Gizmo
Summary: Summer is now fully happening and Quentin learn to walk back into his life after his suicide attempt. Pretending everything is fine is harder than it looks.





	Day at the Beach

‘’Did you took your meds? ‘’ 

Eliot was looking at Quentin, a cigarette freshly lit the moment they left their house. Summer heat was warming up their skin and making the nearby trash smell like the gym locker at the end of a game. They had plan to go to the beach with Julia and James and the only thing that convinced Quentin to go, was Eliot allowing him to bring back the second book of Fillory and further. It was the third time he’d read it since his dad bought it at the ward. 

‘’Yeah yeah. ‘’ Said Quentin, rolling his eyes. 

The same question every day, the same nonchalant but clearly worried look from his older brother. 

‘’I’m not joking Q, did you? ‘’ 

Quentin looked up from the card trick he was trying to master to see his brother frowning deeply. Eliot had been mad at Quentin for days after his recovery to the house. It took them to get pretty high, while their parent were at a fancy charity diner, to really talk about it. The black haired guy had admitted that every time he closed his eyes, he could see his hand soaked in blood while he was trying to stop the wound. It was the only time Quentin felt bad about his suicide attempt. 

‘’ Eliot, I’m fine. If I’m out here it's because they trust me enough to be able to medicate on my own. ‘’ He sigh and put the card deck in his bag. Eliot wasn’t convinced. ‘‘ Look I promised you I would talk to you if ever I feel like shit. ‘’ 

‘’Promise are easily broken. ‘’ Mumble Eliot between two drag of his cigarette. The hurt into it was too deep not to understand there was a past there. But Quentin knew his brother enough not to ask until he was ready. 

‘’Then what can I do for you to trust me El’. ‘’ Quentin sigh. 

Eliot stopped walking and, not having notice, he had to go back to him since he’d walk away. The older boy finished his cigarette in deep thought, looking at a van that was passing near them. The shiver he had wasn’t unnoticed by both of them, but it wasn’t spoken about. 

‘’Just… continue to medicate‘’ Eliot simply said, lighting a new cigarette. 

He offered one to Quentin who accepted it. 

\----------

James was a nice guy. But like too nice. And too pretty. He was showing this mister perfect vibe that made you impossible not to want to be near him, but also hate him. Even Eliot had a crush on him, though this idea died as quick as it came the day he got with Julia. Quentin wasn’t sure why James was his friend. He knew he was a package deal when it comes to his best friend, that how he got most of his friends; Julia’s were tolerating him. But James seems to truly care about him and he didn’t knew why. They didn’t like the same thing, they were clearly not in the same league when it came to woman et Quentin was way smarter.

And yet, it was James that drove Julia everytime she could to the psych ward and let them alone for the small time they had together. It was him who was making sure he wasn’t shove into a locker anymore. It was him who made sure Eliot was included at school and it their group of friend. It was him that call them to go to the beach. 

The more Quentin thought about James, the less he understood him. Which depressed him a lot. Apparently, everything that he didn’t had, his friend had it in double. Next to him and Eliot, the brunette knew he was less than a shadow. He was the shadow of a shadow. 

Usually he liked being invisible, but not when it came to Julia. By now, he was pretty sure Eliot had talked with her and everyone was aware of what triggered his suicide attempt. Not talking about it was a blessing, but really, he would like to say to her everything that he felt and more. Even if she’d reject him, at least it would be clear. Because now he had the dark and twisted fantasy of them breaking up and him being there for her. And she would realize he was here all along and they would be happy ever after. 

Yeah lots of bulshit. To be happy ever after, you have to be happy in the first place. 

So Quentin push down his feeling, looked at her play in the water while wearing a marvelous marine bikini, wishing it was his hand around her waist and not James. He rolled on his stomach to hide his growing boner and burry his head inside Fillory in Further, smoking Eliot’s cigarette and drinking too much beer. 

\-----  
That night, Eliot had knock before he’d open Quentin’s door. Which was an improvement to the usual, but also worrisome. The older man was pale as a ghost, his eyes bloodshot and his hand trembling. Quentin closed his book and sat straight in his bed. 

‘’El? ‘’ he ask. 

Eliot walk toward him and sat on his bed next to him. The next thing he knew, Eliot face was buried in his neck, his whole body was shaking and he smelled like whiskey. Not knowing what to do, he took him in his arm and let him cry. Because that usually work for him. 

It was the first time he’d ever seen him cry since he moved here one year ago. 

‘’You’re the only one I really trust. ‘’ Eliot finally said after he’d cry silently for nearly ten minutes. ‘’Please don’t leave me. ‘’ 

Quentin heart broke and his eyes watered. He kissed Eliot hair and hug him tighter, feeling a weird mixture of guilt and affection. 

‘’Never. ‘’ Quentin said rocking his brother while fighting against his own tear. ‘’I promise El’, I’ll never leave. ‘


End file.
